June 26, 2005

Internet Infections

Diseases you could catch off the Internet; the Internet Seven Sins:

a) Megalomania
Specially infectious in blogger circles, I don't know why but once a normal human being gains the coveted title of "Blogger" he or she start exhibiting signs of sudden depth and wisdom, if you look at the one and two liners that most bloggers jolt describing themselves and their blogs you will know what I am talking about.

b) Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
While some would dispute that this is a Personal Computer (PC) specific disease, I argue that the PC itself and its keyboard and mouse are as boring as the wheels of a car, the Internet is like the gadgets, v8 Twin Turbo engine and convertible roof that makes you want to go for the ride. My wrists and shoulders are now a testament to the dangers of the Internet

c) Antisocial Behavior
Need I say more ?

d) Obsessive Compulsive Behavior (OCD)
Examples of Internet OCD are observed in the urges for email checking, chatting, Forums browsing and posting ..

e) Blabbing
Perfectly normal companies fall into nonsense blabbing once faced with the challenge of creating a website, the white space on the pages become sort of a challenge, creating points and sections of nothing is one of the symptoms and you get a lot of phrases like:
"With the advent of the internet"
"In the age of Technology"
Some extreme cases even forget to include a list of what the company does!! And in hopeless unrecoverable cases they do not include even contact details for their business!

f) Hoarding
Symptoms of Internet hoarding are more apparent in societies new to the Internet, where people are not sure the information resource will remain accessible and available, hence the urge to "save" and "save as" every thing they think useful or interesting, this disease is the founding stone for many storage companies that are flourishing now selling huge internal and external hard disks.

g) Chronical Split personality - Schizophrenia
I am sure you know very well how a timid person can be transformed over the Internet into an aggressive cynical predator, a girl becomes a boy, a boy becomes a dog, a man becomes a child, and an idiot becomes an expert ... You get the point!


Drunk'n'Gorgeous said...

You're funny :D

Evil Odd said...

This post is gold!

*Goes back to his blog to admire the wisdom it emits*

Karim Elsahy said...

Set up a protest against terrorism tomorrow in the streets of Cairo. Do it. Call everyone you know, join together, link up this Egyptian blogosphere and to the streets.

Karim Elsahy


hope2endure said...

So true, LOL :)